Broken
by TheRedButlerFan
Summary: Stupid Title is stupid. Feel free to recommend titles to me. I'll give you credit! Summary inside, please read! M for Mature Themes: Implied Tyki/Allen Non-con (RAPE), Kanda's language in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Poor Allen...**

**Summary: Allen gets raped by Tyki, and in his state of weakness, begins hating himself for not being strong enough, develops severe cases of paranoia and the fears of being touched, close to anyone, and emotionally attached. Lavi and Kanda have to try to put him back together again, but it won't be easy, especially when Allen is too afraid to let them in.**

**No smut, guys! Sorry, I'm trying my hand at a serious hurt/comfort fic.  
**

**Enjoy~!  
**

**TheRedButlerFan  
**

* * *

I lay on the ground, my legs frozen and my breath coming in raspy, quick pants. My face was wet with hot tears and my body shuddered involuntarily, curling up on my side, my knees to my chest. I lay without clothing, and a blanket that smelled distinctly of mildew draped over me. It brought no comfort.

"That was fun, card shark." he chuckled from across the room. I stared blankly at the chipped wall, a fresh wave of tears rolling down my cheeks. "I'll be back eventually. Maybe we can go for another round when I do, eh?"

The tall, Portuguese Noah chuckled darkly, opening the door. It shut loudly behind him.

I felt- no, I was incomprehensibly dirty.

Filthy.

I couldn't move, it hurt. My hips burned in fiery pain, and my nails gripped my knees.

I didn't dare call for help; none had come when I'd screamed earlier today, why would help come now?

I laid there for what seemed like an eternity, but what might have been a few hours, until the door burst open.

"Walker-dono, I've found you!" A finder sighed in relief.

I didn't speak.

I didn't move.

If I did, it would hurt, and he might come back.

"Walker-dono?"

I heard the finder call to his fellow finders for help.

I heard the noise of the three half-masked men, heard the words "lethargic" and "shock", but they seemed too distant, too far. I could do nothing but tremble as I fell into a dreamless sleep.

An empty, hollow, pointless sleep.

I woke in the train.

I was on my side, like before, but no longer on the ground. A velvet, red cushion was under me, and I was dressed in my usual clothes.

"Come back here!" A woman screeched. I flinched involuntarily, fear overwhelming me. Was she in here?

I glanced around the room, terrified. My whole body tensed, and I gripped the pale creamy-yellow sheet that had been wrapped around me.

No one but me was in the private train car. I couldn't relax. I couldn't release my frozen shoulders from their tight position.

I heard pitiful whimpers echo in the train car before realizing I'd made them, tears washing down my face.

What had become of me?

What was wrong with me?

Why wasn't I strong enough?

I swallowed thickly, sobs racking my body.

I was weak.

_I shouldn't be an exorcist_, I thought as I wailed silently.

No one as weak as me should be.

A failure.

A disgrace.

** (end prologue)**


	2. Chapter 2

** I feel horrible for making Tyki rape Allen. It's messing up my brain.**

**Enjoy~!  
**

**TheRedButlerFan**

* * *

"Yuu!"

Lavi pounced on the irritable exorcist playfully. Kanda growled.

"Che, get offa me."

"Hey, Yuu," Lavi said, suddenly solemn as he sat down next to Kanda. "I'm worried about Moyashi-chan."

"..." Kanda stayed quiet, but Lavi knew that Kanda was worried too.

"He hardly comes out of his room since his last mission." Lavi said, pursing his lips. "Lenalee-chan and I bring him food."

"I tried to go in Moyashi's room last night, 'cause I thought he was being stupid.." Kanda admitted. "He was laying on the bed. When he saw me..."

"Ne, ne? Yuu!"

Kanda closed his eyes, sighing.

"Moyashi had this look of sheer terror in his eyes." Kanda said. "He backed into the wall, shaking and trembling and he started to cry."

"Yuu, why didn't you tell anyone?!" Lavi asked, worry coloring his visible eye.

"I didn't think it mattered."

"It does!" Lavi groaned. "Something happened to him that night. Something horrible."

"I just wish I knew what it was," Lavi whispered. "It's got to be really bad if he freaks when anyone comes in."

"Lavi..!"

A wail sounded through the nearly-empty cafeteria. Lavi and Kanda spun around to see Lenalee crying, running towards them.

"Lena-chan, what's wrong?"

"It's Allen!" Lenalee sobbed. Lave held her tightly in a hug. She cried into his shoulder.

"What's wrong with Moyashi?" Kanda asked, almost sounding concerned.

"H-He _hic! _I went to bring him food a-and Allen-" Lenalee's body shuddered with a racking sob. "Allen started screaming-g and _hic! _I t-tried to hand him the food, and he backed into the corner and started crying. He wouldn't let me come near h-him..!"

Kanda rolled his eyes, but wariness toned his features.

Lavi took a deep breath. "Lenalee. Breathe."

Lenalee nodded, sniffling. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks blushed pink.

Lenalee pushed away from Lavi, and Kanda 'che'd'.

"Yuu, Lena-chan." Lavi said seriously. "Something happened to Allen six days ago, the night of his last mission. A finder found him, I think. We have to ask him what he found."

"Whatever." Kanda growled, standing up and flicking a black strand out of his eyes.

"Okay." Lenalee sighed, wiping her last tear away. "Let's go ask Nii-san which Finders were sent with Allen to...Italy?"

Lavi nodded. "Italy."

* * *

"Hmm, I believe I sent the finders Tom Mason and Lani Rita on Allen's mission." Komui said boredly as he shuffled a few stacks of paper. "By the way, is Allen okay?"

Lenalee shook her head as Lavi replied a curt "no".

Kanda just stood there, looking cross.

The three exorcists left the room with the names.

"Okay, Kanda, you search the cafeteria for anyone named Tom Mason or Lani Rita." Lavi ordered.

Kanda glared, welcome to objecting, but sighed and nodded, walking the opposite way.

"Lena-chan, search the science section." Lavi said to the dark green-haired girl, who nodded. "I'll search the Finder barracks."

The two went their separate ways.

After an hour, Kanda pulled a young, brown-haired man by the wrist towards the hall where they split up. Lavi and Lenalee were already there.

Lenalee seemed to be talking quietly to the girl, who was blonde and short. Lavi looked drained.

"Che. I finally found him." Kanda announced, jerking Tom's wrist so that the finders were both in the middle of the exorcist triangle.

"Okay. Tom, Lani, you were both on the mission with Allen the night of the incident, right?" Lenalee asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Lani said quietly.

Tom nodded, rubbing his pinkish wrist.

"Were either of you the one who found him?"

Tom raised his hand slightly. "I did."

"Where was he?" Lavi asked hurriedly. He wanted to find out the problem quickly, so that they could get the old Allen back.

"He was supposed to be on the train, but I guess he decided to take a walk. After not seeing him for a while, we started to search for him nearby. I found him in a cheap motel room."

"He was covered with a blanket, and underneath he was stark naked." Tom looked around nervously. "He was curled up on the floor, and he wasn't moving besides his breathing."

"Anything else?" Kanda asked, almost annoyed.

"I believe he was conscious when we found him, but he was out cold when three of us lifted him into the train."

"Thank you so much," Lenalee whispered, thoughtful.

"Happy to help, I guess." Tom left, and Lani followed quickly afterwards.

"So Allen was found naked in a motel room." Lavi glanced at Kanda warily before looking back to Lenalee, as if to say 'We'll discuss this when she leaves.'

Kanda nodded slightly.

"Why would Allen go on a walk by himself?" Lenalee asked no one, frustrated. "He knows that someone should be with him! There're Noah and Level Fours everywhere in Italy!"

"Alright, Lenalee." Lavi tried, his tone calm. "We should regroup for a bit, gathering information from others. Let's meet back here at one, okay?"

"Sure." Lenalee sighed and trudged away, deep in thought, towards the cafeteria.

"Rabbit," Kanda muttered. "What're you thinking?"

"Allen was found naked."

"And?"

"In a cheap Italian motel." Lavi said, trying to hint at something.

"Che. So?"

"Someone may have assaulted him, Yuu." Lavi whispered, cringing.

Kanda's eyes were hidden by his bangs, he was silent.

"Let's try to talk to Allen."


	3. Chapter 3

**"Someone may have assaulted Allen".**

**orz  
**

**Enjoy~!  
**

**TheRedButlerFan  
**

* * *

"Let's go try and talk to him, Yuu." Lavi said determinedly.

Kanda nodded, his eyes still hidden.

Lavi knew that Allen was a close friend of Kanda's, no matter how much Kanda tried to say he hated the silverette exorcist.

With that, the two began to walk in the direction of Allen's room.

* * *

"Allen-chan?" Lavi knocked on the gray door. "Can we come in?"

Not a sound could be heard inside the room.

"Moyashi, come on and let us in, or I'll cut your door down." Kanda threatened, his eyes flashing in a moment of annoyance.

Lavi pressed his ear to the door softly.

"Please, please..."

Lavi motioned for Kanda to do the same. The long-haired exorcist did.

"Please, just go away," a voice whispered painfully inside. "Please...d-don't come in.."

Something in Kanda snapped, and the door was open in seconds. Not that he had to bring Mugen on it. The door was unlocked.

The two elder exorcists took about three steps into the room.

**[**Allen**]**

As I watched Lavi and Kanda come into the room, my breath hitched, and my hands began trembling.

Just like when Lenalee came in.

"Allen," Lavi started. "We know something's up. You want to tell us?"

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I stood carefully, backing into the corner, hoping they wouldn't come any nearer.

"Allen, something happened to you six days ago. We both know it. Can't you tell us?"

I whimpered involuntarily, trying to shrink into the corner, anything to hide or disappear.

"Moyashi," Kanda whispered. Lavi glanced at his black-haired friend. "He's doing it again, Rabbit."

I let out another noise. I choked up directly afterwards. The constricting feeling was back, and my eyes stung like I was about to cry.

"Allen..."

I shakily clawed at the wall, desperately wishing it to hide me from my friends.

Why was I so afraid of them?

I grimaced.

I'm filthy, I reminded myself.

I shouldn't be an exorcist anymore.

I couldn't .

I was an utter disgrace to the Exorcist title.

"Get away!" I screamed, shutting my eyes and clenching my fists. "Get away, I can't! I'm- Get out!"

[thirdpersonpov]

Lavi was at a loss for words.

"Please!" Allen cried. "Just get out!"

"Allen-chan-"

"Get away!" Allen screamed again. "Don't come closer, I'll- I can't, you can't- just get out, please!"

Allen rambled, begging the two elder exorcists to go.

"Get..away!" Allen activated his Innocence and deactivated it, over and over. It was like he couldn't control the Innocence. Tears rolled down his face.

"Please.."

Kanda took a step back.

"Usagi.." Kanda said quietly. "I'm leaving. Moyashi's not.."

Lavi nodded, although he wished to stay. Kanda turned and left, the red-haired exorcists at his heels.

[Allen]

I crumpled on the ground as the door shut tightly.

"The lock," I said, fumbling to talk. "I'll just.."

I trembled, standing up and clicking the lock on the door shut.

I slid to the floor, back against the door.

What's wrong with me?!

I'm stronger than this!

I swallowed thickly.

Right?

* * *

I opened the bathroom door and turned on the hot water.

I took off my clothes and stepped in, ignoring the immediate sting that buzzed on my skin.

The water was so hot, too hot. But I grabbed at my arm and began rubbing at it until it turned pick from the heat and friction.

When I got out of the shower, I was dark red in some spots, pink in others.

I was still filthy.

_That was fun, boy..._

That voice rang in my head. I bit my lip.

* * *

**I've lost my muse for this. To those who care, I'm going to try and rewrite all the chapters so far and if it doesn't work out, I'm putting it up for adoption.**


End file.
